he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
