Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize