He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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