I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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