He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
