Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
