I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
