Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
