My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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