Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
