Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
