i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
