So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize