Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
