Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I am one with the molecules
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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