So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Someone shit on the floor
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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