Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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