It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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