I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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