I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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