"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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