I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
