worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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