i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize