8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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