Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
