I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
