Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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