Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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