Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
