Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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