Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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