Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
