Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
