and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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