SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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