We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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