I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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