i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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