Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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