My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
