ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
