so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
