You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
