Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
