the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
