idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
