...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
