I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize