I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
