I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
