I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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