I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize