i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
