How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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