Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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