Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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