Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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