Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
