you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
