does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
