I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As shirtless as possible
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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