I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
